THREE REASONS I DON'T DATE (even though I like boys)
Back in January of 2016, I wrote a post about why I wasn't dating based off an incredible post I saw on Facebook. A year and a half later and 2 years older, I am writing another post about why I don't date. Enjoy.
1. DATING ISN'T REALLY DATING
I'm old-fashioned. I'm pretty much an old lady trapped in an 18 year old's body. I believe in the old-fashioned, almost traditional way of dating. In my case, I become friends with a guy, really get to know him. Over time, if we mutually want to move the friendship into a more romantic relationship, we go out on a date. If that date is smooth and awesome, we go on another date. BLAH BLAH BLAH We're dating and exclusive. The society we live in seems to have a different idea when it comes to dating other humans. I'm not sure if you've heard of the "dating apocalypse" but man oh man is it real. As society has shifted its attention to technology and online apps, the dating scene has moved online as well. More and more people agree that dating apps are a way to connect you with people but it's also led to a culture that is obsessive and competitive.
If I'm being completely honest, I do not want to date in a culture where the majority of people want the hook up culture we millennials are known for. I don't want a relationship where I have to constantly be worried about dating profiles and my partner obsessively checking on his ex-girlfriend. I deserve more.
2. I'M NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE
What's the purpose of dating? Why do it? For every relationship, you and your partner are either going to be together forever or break up. That absolutely terrifies me and at 18 years old, I don't think about being with someone forever. I can hardly stand being with someone for extended periods of time.I can't wait to get married and spend forever with a man that I can call my best friend but that moment is definitely not now.
All my single people out there who feel like singleness is a curse given to those that are just not worthy of a relationship - well, I'm talking to you. Singleness is not this ugly, embarrassing label that you carry around with you all day every day. Singleness is not better or worse than marriage, it's just different. Marriage comes with different things and requires different things from the people involved. Stop looking at your situation through the lens of "Ugh, I just wish God would change my situation so I could find a guy/girl that loves me." Maybe the whole point you are where you are is so that your perspective of your situation changes. God's got you man. Trust and believe that. And if you do, than you just have to trust that your single situation is right where God wants you.
3. I LOVE MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH GUYS
I don't want a boyfriend but I do so want guy-friends, friends that are guys that I can be comfortable around because they're "just my friends". The whole "you must have a crush on so and so because you're friends" just makes no sense to me, especially as we go into the real world (the friendzone is such a wonderful place to chill).
I crave for a diverse group of friends that will help me grow as a human being and as a friend. Whether than mean people of different races, political views, orientation, and SEX. Oh, and I like boys (like a lot). They're super funny, and a little crazy, kinda caring and tend to forgive a lot easier than some of my girl friends. What you see in a guy is pretty much what you're gonna get. We, girls, need guys in our lives as FRIENDS and I WANT guys in my life that can be friends with me.
Those who have talked to me about my decision to not date in high school seem to have this really false, twisted idea of me in their head that is just so not true. Let me clear some stuff up: I am not some super teen that has no emotion or feelings and has decided to not date because it is just sooo easy. I am human, a human girl and I experience the same emotions you do AKA staring a little too long at the cute boy I just passed in the grocery store. I get it man.
Intentionally not dating is no easy feat, let me tell you. I'm human and I deal with human feelings and emotions. Not much as changed since the last time I wrote about this except for the fact that I no longer care. Sixteen year old me cared and put so much weight on the thoughts of others to the point that it would impact my day. At the end of the day, my decision to or not to date is mine and mine alone. I love the friends that support me and would love to sit down and talk to those who don't get it.