TO THE GIRL WHO FEELS LIKE SHE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH
To the girl who feels like she isn't good enough:
Well, first, you are.
As a christian and as a chick, I am constantly comparing myself to other girls and other Christians all. the. time. As I scroll through my Instagram feed, I see hundreds of posts of young christian women reading their Bible at 5 in the morning with a cup of joe perfectly placed, whose hair is in a perfect messy bun. It's basically picture perfect. I freak out. Why? Because I am NEVER up at 5 in the morning for anything (yes, even Jesus) and my hair never wants to cooperate, and that perfect cup of joe I really really want, well ... it wakes up the dog so I end up having to take him out. At 5 am, I am snuggled under my blankets dreaming about food. What I am trying to say is that I struggle with this idea of the being this "perfect christian chick."
To be honest, I can't really remember the last time I read my bible when it wasn't on a Sunday at church. This morning, I probably yelled at my brother (I can't really remember if I did, but probably). I freak out because I really do try hard to be the best version of me that I can be, yet I fail. I don't meet up to the standards that I hold for myself. So to the girl that is looking at those same Instagram photos on her feed and is feeling the same way I am feeling, it's cool, we're in the same boat.
Much like the bun on my head in this picture, we end up trying so so hard to look and be perfect. I mean, for me, it takes a solid couple of minutes for me to get a "messy bun" just righht. I see this reflected in my faith. It takes a whole lot more effort to try and act the part instead of just being honest. Is it embarrassing that after 10 years of being a Christian, I still forget to say grace before eating. Or maybe that there are thing going on in my personal life that I don;t bring to God first like I know I should. It sucks and it's embarrassing but I am learning that the world appreciates honesty and the truth more than lies and cover ups. Because ya know #fake.